A couple of days ago, I learned that raging conversations is a thing. I also realised that it is a thing I definitely do. And it’s something I really don’t want to keep doing.
In that article, they write about how replaying negative conversations in our heads is really just hurting ourselves. That’s when it occurred to me; other people may say hurtful things out of anger, but if I replay it over and over again in my head, I’m helping the other person cause maximum damage. Why do that?
So this is the beginning of the journey to stop raging conversations and negative thought loops. I looked into meditation and mindfulness exercises to see if it could be of help. I found there was a depressing amount of practical information on how someone can stop the negative replay of raging conversations.
There were some practical exercises about how to bring oneself out of negative thought loops with YOURSELF, but what can we do when another person is involved? How do you calm down enough to stop hearing them with a negative filter on?
Imagine you’re in yet another angry argument with your spouse. Then somehow you get the mental fortitude to say, “stop, I need to meditate and calm down before we go any further.” How would that go if the other person is angry as well and they are unwilling to back down? In an argument with someone else, you can do everything right on your part and still it’ll end up horrendous if the other party does not relent.
Well. This is a record of my experiment. I will attempt a calming exercise the next time I am in a heated argument with my husband and we’ll see how well that goes.