Terrified

Never google your symptoms. 

Disclaimer: Nothing is physically wrong with me (that I know of). I’m not physically ill.

I am reading about narcissism and co-dependency. It’s possible that a lot of the crap I’m reading online is garbage. The only way for me to find out is if I talk to a therapist. But even then I feel like it’s a lot of baloney. Who uses “baloney” anymore. 

The symptoms listed of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person are very relate-able to me. It terrifies me that I can identify with it. But if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, does it really mean it’s a duck? Could be a goose, right? 

I’m scared and I don’t know who to talk to. I question other people’s opinions by default. There is no single person I trust enough because not one single person can possibly have the absolute authority to just know. Therapists are still regular people. Just because they studied brain functions and human behavior, it doesn’t exactly make them experts on human emotion. 

Even the terminology itself is disgusting. Personality Disorder. Really? Who coined that? What kind of a prick would come up with such a phrase to label other people who think and feel differently than they do? 

I’m stuck between asking for help and sucking it up. 

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