Fake Nails

Who’d have thought they’d be so cool?

I mean, really.

Here I am, 27 years old, and trying on fake nails for the first time. I did the glue and everything. The back of the box read that to take them off, I’d have to soak my fingers in acetone until they [the nails] melt off.

I might as well be soaking my fingers in acid.

I guess I did manager to keep my fingers glue-free. Knowing me, I was expecting an American Pie based incident, involving glue and private parts.

Don’t judge. We all masturbate.

Haven’t had the time to read for pleasure lately. I miss it. Can I be a professional reader? Of course I can–that’s called a publisher.


I want to achieve great things. I will achieve great things.

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