I’ve Had Some Wine So Let’s Write Some Fucking Blog

Take that, internet.

Despite the title, this blog isn’t about fucking. Funny thing about English, no? Fucking is used as an adjective here, to describe the noun, “Blog”. Whereas if I had used “Fucking Blog” as a noun itself, it would mean something entirely different. 

Confusing, yet not. 

Like I said, I’ve had some wine. 

Observations. 

Why is it that it’s always the old Chinese ladies that don’t understand technology? And I don’t mean the type where they need your help to get into their email. I mean the type that doesn’t know how to work a TV remote. Not a complicated Cable one, mind you, but rather a simple old school Sony TV remote. 

I guess I won’t really know until I get to the ripe old age of 56 and I’m trying to figure how those damn hover cars get off the ground. 

Am I even going to live until 56? 

While on the phone with said old Chinese lady, I ask her to tell me whether there exists a button on her remote that says “Cable” or “CBL”. As she’s accidentally switched her TV channel off of number 03 and so she can no longer see her Cable. She goes ahead to list all of the buttons on her remote. 

“TV… INPUT… POWER… 1….2….3…4…5” 

Really? 

After a few minutes of back and forth, I ask her to just press “0” + “3” + “enter”. Simple enough, right? 

But no. She demanded to know why. Why does she have to do what I ask her to do? Will this really fix the Cable? And also what is wrong with my company that we can’t fix a simple problem of No Signal? 

I rue the day that Cable companies came out with Cable boxes. It used to be simple. There was one remote. One channel up and one channel down button. You go to channel 03 to watch VHS. That’s it. That’s all you would ever go to channel 03 for. That and maybe Input 1 for Nintendo 64.

Funny thing is, I don’t watch Cable. No. I’m a proud Canadian. I download what I want to watch, and then I run it on my pink laptop. Yes, Internet Police, come and get me. 

I’m a try hard, without trying hard. By that, I mean I do well at my job without really trying. This is because it’s easy to do well at my job. I’m assuming that the reason that most people don’t do well at my job is because they’ve somehow died inside and they have lost the will to even compete. Yes, it’s a shit job, but I like knowing I am winning at something, even if it’s shit. 

Bi-winning. 

This is a fucking blog. 

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